Pairing/Charecter(s): Ancient!John, Sheldon Cooper, Leonard Hofstader, Sam Carter; background John/Rodney, Sam/Jack
Warnings/Spoliers: Stargate: Atlantis/The Big Bang Theory crossover. Chronologically, this place post-S5 of SGA, when Atlantis is on Earth, ostensibly in the "Ancient!John 'verse, though it can be read as otherwise; as far as BBT goes, it can take place at really any time in the series; takes place after The Spin-Off Postulate and The Beaming Reaction
Disclaimer: All characters, situations, quotes et al are properties of their respective owners and I am merely using them under Title 17 of the US Code, § 107, aka the Fair Use Doctrine, without intents to infringe upon or defame anyone's legal rights.
Summary: We're in outer space.
Notes: I don't know who to blame for this one. Maybe myself, for rewatching the orginal Star Wars trilogy and deciding Carrie Fisher would make a good Elizabeth for Pegasus X-treme. The whole cast of charector's is here. And thanks to everyone who did their best to cheer me up yesterday. It really helped!
The Atlantis Experiment
The Cover-Up Corollary
"We're in outer space."
Colonel Sheppard raises his eyebrow to a height Leonard's never seen outside of science-fiction. "Yes."
"How are we in outer space?"
"Asgard beaming technology." This means absolutely nothing to Leonard. The Colonel, apparently, sees this and takes pity upon him, and explaining, "Basically, our bodies were just torn apart at the atomic level, carried in a high-compression data stream about two hundred miles straight up, to the Hammond in orbit, and resembled," as he takes a chair from a near by table and spins it around. "Think," he concludes, sitting in it backwards, "Star Trek, only without the mirror universes whenever something goes wrong. And things rarely ever go wrong with the beam itself; the Asgard perfected the design twenty million years ago."
"Ah," he says again. "What's an Asgard?"
"A highly advanced race from the Ida galaxy. Well, they call it Ida. I think you lot call it the Antlia Dwarf galaxy. They're basically like the Nahuatl in Wormhole X-treme, only grey. Well, were, anyway."
"Were?" he repeats faintly. Leonard has always assumed aliens existed, somewhere, but are either single-celled extremophiles that humans wouldn't discover for hundreds of years yet, or are so highly advanced that, even if they could cross the interstellar distances separating them in a reasonable time frame, they don't think humanity is worth the bother. The idea that they did consider it worth is is, well, almost more startling than the beaming technology. After all, Star Trek prepared him for transporters, but not for aliens visiting pre-warp societies and letting themselves be featured on the SyFy channel.
"They kinda did the whole ritual suicide thing-"
"Stop!" Sheldon cries out. He doesn't look like he's going to faint any more, but he's clapping his hands over his ears and saying, "Stop! Stop!"
Amused, Sheppard asks, "Why?"
"I don't want to hear any spoilers."
This pulls Leonard out of his own I'm in space, there are such things as aliens stupor, enough so that when he turns and says, "Sheldon!" he sounds vaguely back to normal. "We've just learned that everything we ever imagined is true and you don't want to hear any more for fear of spoilers?"
"Don't worry," says a voice from the door – a woman in a dark blue flight suit with a long, blonde braid down her back and a pair of patches on her chest proclaiming her both Colonel Samantha Carter and a member of the USS George Hammond's crew, "there's very little direct correlation between the us and the shows.
"Don't listen to her. Sam's just bitter because they make her character out to be a – how did you put it?" Colonel Sheppard breaks into a wide grin as he laughs, "Oh, yes – space bimbo."
"That's a riot coming from you, Kirk."
"Hardly," he says dryly, completely forgetting Leonard and Sheldon. "Anyway, I know I'm here because my meeting with the president went over-"
"They have a tendency to do that," Sam nods understandingly.
"-and I needed to get these two marked off the list before heading back, 'cause I promised Rodney and Radek they wouldn't have to deal with Doctor Cooper until they absolutely had to... So," he says, ignoring Sheldon's protestation of hey, as he continues, "that's why I'm here. Aren't you supposed to be on leave this week? Something about a cabin in Missouri or Mississippi or-?"
"Minnestoa," Colonel Carter corrects with a sigh. "But Jack's fielding calls from various IOA representatives who're angry we're putting another American in your old position. So we figured, why not wait until he's not going to be on the phone every five minutes putting out fires? We've only been putting it off for for months already."
With more seriousness than someone in an American military uniform should have, Sheppard asks, "Would it help any if I defected to Canada? Rodney's finally stopped pestering me about it, so now would be the perfect time to do it."
She snorts. "Probably not, no. Then they'd just be on the phone complaining about having two Canadians in key positions, rather than two Americans. So," she says, seeming to finally remember he and Sheldon are in the room, "welcome to the Hammond. I'm Colonel Samantha Carter, her commander."
"But, more importantly," Colonel Sheppard interrupts, "she's the basis for Alexandria Monroe in Wormhole X-treme."
"John!" she admonishes-
-but he continues undeterred, his smile growing bigger, if at all possible, "And her husband's the man behind Nick Danning."
Leonard's still gaping (and Sheldon appears to be choking on all the things he wants to ask the basis for Alexandria Monroe, whose science is almost as flimsy as some of the costumes they had her wear in the earlier seasons), when Carter turns on Sheppard. He expects her to look angry, or annoyed, or something, but she just looks amused, "You know, I'm starting to get why you insist on telling that to every fanboy you recruit – I don't suppose you've told them which character is based on you yet?"
Sheppard's face immediately looses any hint of amusement it had a moment before. "You wouldn't."
"Turnabout's fair play."
"They're going to find out eventually."
"But you know they'll have questions, and I'm running late enough as it is – and you don't want to do that to Rodney. I mean, 'Lantis has been bad enough, complaining about being back on Terra-"
"Fine, I'll take custody of them, "she says, raising one hand to the earwig Leonard just now realized he was wearing. " Collins? Beam Colonel Sheppard back to his previous coordinates, will you? Yes, just Sheppard. Thanks Collins."
Sheppard is beamed away in a flash of white light even before she finishes her sentence.
"You've got to show me how that works," Leonard finds himself saying.
"Experimental. Sheldon over there is theoretical. I'm Leonard, by the way. Leonard Hofstader."
"I'm an astrophysicist myself... The show got that much right, at least. Actually," she sits on one of the nearby benches and gestures at them to join her, only mildly concerned when Sheldon starts going from seat to seat in attempt to find his spot, "there is pretty much a one-to-one correlation with the show and the Stargate Program. Oh, they've changed a lot of stuff to make it action-packed TV drama and all that, but the Asgard were the Nahuatl on the show; the Ancients are the Old Ones. The person they – loosely – based on me is Alex Monroe. And I'm relatively certain the character in Pegasus X-treme they fashioned after him is called Mike, or Micaelis, or-"
Sheldon beats him to the question. "You mean Major Mike Shepherd is Colonel John Sheppard?"
"But Major Shepherd on Pegasus X-treme is an alien. A ten-thousand-year-old alien."
Carter can't stop grinning. "Exactly."
Sheldon looks like he's about to hyperventilate, and Leonard's finding it rather hard to breathe himself. "You're saying," he manages slowly, "that Colonel Sheppard is an alien?"
"Technically he's a highly-advanced evolution of our own form, his race having seeded a couple dozen galaxies with devolved forms of their own genetic coding sixty-five million or so years ago, but... yeah. He's an alien."