Pairing/Charecter(s): Ancient!John, Sheldon Cooper, Leonard Hofstader, Rajesh Koothrappali, Howard Wolowitz, Penny; background John/Rodney
Warnings/Spoliers: Stargate: Atlantis/The Big Bang Theory crossover. Chronologically, this place post-S5 of SGA, when Atlantis is on Earth, ostensibly in the "Ancient!John 'verse, though it can be read as otherwise; as far as BBT goes, it can take place at really any time in the series; takes place after The Spin-Off Postulate
Disclaimer: All characters, situations, quotes et al are properties of their respective owners and I am merely using them under Title 17 of the US Code, § 107, aka the Fair Use Doctrine, without intents to infringe upon or defame anyone's legal rights.
Summary: After the première of the new Wormhole X-treme spin-off, Pegasus X-treme...
Notes: So, this is techinically too long to be a drabble, but blame mckaysmonkey and (especially) lita_of_jupiter for enabling me. I was trying to finish part 2 of "Dei et Viri", but then I got dragged into a discussion of who would make the perfect actors for Pegasus X-treme....
An Ancient!John Drabble
"Well," Howard says once the credits start rolling, "that was promising."
"Yeah," Leonard hears himself saying as he eyes the Air Force colonel sitting on their floor speculatively, "definitely more so than the première of Wormhole X-treme."
"What I don't get is how they expect us to believe that the Old One managed to survive in stasis when it's already been stated in previous franchise canon that stasis only slows down the ageing process to zero point five percent. After ten thousand years, he should have aged fifty."
"Maybe," Raj offers, "Old Ones live longer."
"Or maybe," the Colonel says, rising to his feet, "the Old One is just special somehow."
Sheldon harrumphs. "It reeks of being a nothing more than a blatant plot device, that's what, but I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. For now."
The Colonel raises his eyebrow. "Well, that's good to know. Now, if you don't mind, can we get to the top secret portion of tonight's entertainment?"
It's only because he's sitting right next to Penny that he hears her mutter something that sounds like it's always the hot ones at all, before she too stands and says, "Well, that's my cue to leave. See you guys later."
The Colonel watches her leave, then looks at Raj and Howard, who are still on the couch. "That means you too guys," he tells him.
"Are you sure? If you're here to recruit Leonard and Sheldon for top secret project, certainly we'd have to be involved too – I'm Howard Wolowitz, this is Rajesh Koothrappali. We all work together at the university."
"Are you sure our names aren't on there somewhere?"
"Speaking of names," Sheldon interjects, "what was yours again? I wasn't paying attention earlier. Oh, and for the record, we don't work together. Howard's just an engineer with a lowly master's degree, and Doctor Koothrappali is a B-rate physicist at best."
"We share an office!" Raj protests.
"An office space? Yes. Credit for contributions to string theory on time-dependant backgrounds in D-dimensional de Sitter space? No."
"It's Colonel John Sheppard, United States Air Force," their visitor repeats, scrolling through something on his PDA – a model that Leonard's never seen before – for a moment before tucking it away and finishing. "And, sorry, no. I've only got Doctors Cooper and Hofstadter on my list. So..." he gives them a causal wave. "Bye."
Howard and Raj are nearly at the door when Sheldon asks, "By Colonel John Sheppard, United States Air Force, do you mean Doctor John Sheppard, who won one of the 2006 Fields Medals for his solution to the Riemann Hypothesis?"
"I'm also one of the technical advisers for Pegasus X-treme. I'd have thought that would be the one you jumped on first, actually – and," the Colonel adds when he sees Howard and Raj starting to turn around at this, "while I'd love to stay and chat about it, Rodney will kill me if I'm any later than I already am, and I really am here for work. So you two, skedaddle," he makes a vague, dismissive motion at them, and, "and you two," he points at Leonard and Sheldon, "can tell me how you feel about coming to work on an interesting project."
"I thought," Leonard finds himself saying, "that the US government blacklisted Sheldon from working on anything top secret after his last attempt to buy yellow cake uranium."
"Will you stop bringing that up?" Sheldon snaps. "It was only a little uranium. Not even enough to start a sustainable nuclear reaction. I don't see why everyone keeps making such a big deal over it."
"You were trying to buy nuclear materials on the internet. How is that not a big deal?"
"If I could interrupt?" Colonel Sheppard says, and Leonard's surprised to see him locking the door behind Howard and Raj. "First of all, it's technically an international consortium that you'd be working for and, second, if you want to know more, I've got a couple of non-disclosure forms here you'll have to sign first."
"What sort of top secret program could a man who's a technical advisor to Pegasus X-treme be a part of?"
Sheppard raises an eyebrow. "An interesting one."
"I dunno," Leonard says, glancing through the non-disclosure agreement he's been handed. "I've learned the hard way not to sign anything without letting my lawyer look over it first."
Sheppard's eyebrow goes higher, and, for a moment, he says nothing while he looks about the apartment, taking in the whiteboards with Sheldon's latest attempt at solving M Theory and the cylon toaster on the counter without any greater reaction than that.
(Normally this is the point where Leonard would start making excuses for all their SyFy collectables, but this man had just watched the première of Pegasus X-treme with them. He's a man who obviously understands the way good science fiction can draw you in, and convince you need a toaster that burns the image of a cylon raider onto a piece of bread.)
Still, the moment stretches out long enough that Leonard's starting to feel compelled to say something, just to fill the silence, when the Colonel says contemplatively, "You guys like Wormhole X-treme – and Pegasus X-treme – right?"
"Well yes," Sheldon says with a note of haughty derision. "I would have thought that would be obvious."
"Well, what if I were to tell you that it was real – or, at least, based off of a top secret program run by the United States Air Force?"
"I would refer you to the nearest psychiatric facility."
"I see," Sheppard says, obviously trying (and failing) to contain a smile. He pulls out his PDA once more, taps something on it, and suddenly the room is full of a bright, white light-
-and suddenly they're all three somewhere else, standing in front of the largest window Leonard's ever seen outside an aquarium, beyond which the planet Earth is sitting, lazily, as if this sort of thing happens ever day.
Leonard looks quickly at Sheppard, who's practically beaming now, and then at Sheldon, who's gone whiter than a sheet.
"Welcome," Colonel Sheppard says, "to the USS George Hammond."
On to part 3