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I wonder what this means

When I was younger, I used to worry constantly that my dad would be hurt - or killed - while on deployment or on some training exercise. I distinctly remember one time, when I was in 6th or 7th grade, I was walking down a hall in my middle school and looked out the window. Outside I saw a convoy of three or four military trucks driving past and, as we lived fairly far from base at the time, the sight filled my heart with terror. I was certain that it had something to do with Dad - that he was hurt, or killed, or MIA or any of a number of terrible things. He wasn't - he was perfectly fine - but I was terrified the rest of the school day, and sightly fearful of what would await me at home.

Now, this was long before the wars in Afganistan or Iraq, when such things became - dare I say it - more commonplace.

But, at some point before the wars started, before I was done with high school, I stopped being so afraid. I don't know if this means that my more adult brain could understand that Dad could take care of himself, or that a convoy wouldn't be the way they'd deliver the news of Dad's injury/death/loss/whatever, or what, but it has to mean something. I don't know what. But it does.

I don't know why I suddenly thought of this....
  • Current Mood: pensive
  • Current Music: Jimmy Eat World "Cut"
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