And the tears keep coming

I should be happy. My brother got his ROTC scholarship, finally, and we had cake and pizza and I filled his bathtub with ballons. But he and mom are all tense over which school he should go to, can go to, etc etc etc, and it's making me all headachy.

And, I mean, I watched the last of the David Tennant specials - "Planet of the Dead", "The Waters of Mars," and The End of Time" - today. And let me tell you I teared up at the end of WoM and was absolutely balling through the regen seen in EoT. I mean, really, just, really... 

"[raging at fate]: Well, exactly, look at you. Not remotely important! But me? I could do so much more! So much more! But this is what I get. My reward. And it’s not fair! [He shoves paper off the desk as he begins to cry, gasping for breath. His eyes fill with tears and he shakes his head and sighs.] Oh… [heartbreakingly soft] Lived too long."

And then, when the regen comes, looking like such a lost child, "I don't want to go."
I feel so sorry for 10. I love the Doctor - his madness, his darkness, his pure genius. I loved 9 for being so raw and broken; for being the old solider returned home from war to find that there is no home, not anymore, and for finding Rose, this brilliant, absolutely human girl who could love him without judging him and could start to make him whole again. I am starting to love 11 for being quirky and fun and with that hint of darkness even more darkly hidden. But 10... I think he was only ever complete with Rose. He imprinted on her; was born out of 9's deep need for forgiveness. There's the accent, the youth, the hotness, the fun... but he was still so dark, 10, and it just lay there under the surface, waiting. Rose could reign him in; remind him of love and innocent and forgiveness, but Martha was too in love with him to do anything but be dragged around 'til the very end. And then Donna came, and Donna was like a sister, judgemental, but able to make it alright, but by then it was too late. She could help him while she was there... but then after "Journey's End" he was all alone. So very alone, and trapped with only his brilliance and his madness and his darkness. The stuff of nightmares. What was it from "Fear Her"?

"Fear. Loneliness. They're the big ones, Rose. Some fo the most terrible acts ever committed have been inspired by them.";
I think he might've ended up like the Master if he'd been left alone for too much longer. I mean, the quote from "11th Hour"

"Been knocking around on my own for a while - my choice - but I've started talking to myself. It's giving me earache."
Might just be a reference to 10 and his gob, but I genuinely think that, had 10 stayed 10, he might've gone mad. I mean genuinely mad.

But oh, 10, I love you so. Three seasons and, what? 5 specials, weren't enough. I wish you had found Rose before JE. I wish you had never lost her. I wish you could have been happy with her for all of your days or, at least, had her to even out your lumps and bruises. You needed her. You regenerated with her, for her, because of her, with her in your mind and hearts and soul. And you died all alone.

So very, very alone.

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