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A book I hate worse than Twilight


Since 26.8.2006, I have read 3368 books. I know this because, in high school, people kept on asking me how many I'd read in a year... and, so, once I started college, I started keeping a list. You can do the math if you really want, but it adds up to a lot of books a day/week/hear, however you look at it.

The last three books I read? Paralell Worlds by Micho Kiko, which is about M-Theory and cosmology. The Jugement of Paris by George Taber, about the 1976 wine tasting that Bottle Shock was based (very loosly, I discovered) off of. And Switched, a $.99 teen fantasy book about this really annoying "monster" girl who turned out to be a changeling - ie, a kid switched for another at birth. The catch? She's a troll princess.

Seriously.

It'd thought Eragon was the worst book I'd ever read, by the virtue of being basically a cut-and-past of every fantasy novel ever written. I'd thought Mistress of Posion was a close second because, even though it was a Dungeons & Dragons book and the author was basically told what to write, at least it was fairly original in it's badness. The Great Gatsby got third for being basically a book of quotes with an insanly bad story between them, but being at least 100% orginal.

But Switched? I want my $.99 back. I'd rather spend them on fries off the dollar menu at McDonalds, because, despite my diet, that would be a better use of funds. It was basically the story - in 1st person no less - of this massively annoying girl who, hell, reminds me a lot of Twilight's Bella in her insecurities and self-involved-ness. Sure, her mom tried to kill her when she was 6 but, frankly, that's the most interesting thing that happened. In the entire novel.

Girl starts new school. Girl crushes on (for no reason I can honestly discern, other than he protects her from people who aren't even that scary or even interesting in their wanting-to-kidnap) boy. Boy turns out to be servent real mom hired to bring her back home. Mom turns out to be queen. People who wanted to kidnap her attack on her coming-out party for no reason anyone can really discern. Boy admits his love for girl but leaves. Girl runs back to adoptive family with the human boy whose place she took as a child. The end.

Add random sighing over guy (who, again, for no reason I can discern) and some random angst about the future, royally duties, and her dead father to taste.

Seriously? Are they selling books-by-numbers now? Cut and past paragraphs from other books? I mean, I thought Twilight was bad, but at least I found something to mock in it. This Switched book is pure drivel, and, while 10 points must be given for the unique aspect of trolls being the magical creatures in question, it gets minus several mil for everything else.

All in all, I am now going to read ST:IX fanfiction for the thousandth time to purge my mind of it.
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