Since I've practically been housebound do to the snow, I decided to go out and do something today. Made the gross mistake of seeing The Green Hornet movie. I believe it might be the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. If, oh, ST:IX is 5 stars, Avatar is three stars (because, despite it's stupidity, it has beautiful graphics and a story you can follow), ST:V is two stars, and Green Hornet is 1/2 stars.

Repeat: 0.5 stars. Not even a full star. Just half of one. Hell, I can't even think of a worse movie, and I've been trying to do so since the middle of the movie.

In fact, the only decent thing about the whole movie was that, rather than be normal good guys, they're good guys who pretend to be bad guys to catch the real bad guys off guard. That's it. The rest is a series of really bad sexual jokes, some really bad and monumentally inappropriate gay jokes, an actress who has finally reached the point where it's just inappropritate to be dressing that young, and two incredibly annoying actors. Hell, I wanted to shoot the guy playing The Green Hornet. His charector wasn't even endearing in his idioicy, and his voice was like nails on the blackboard of my soul.

My favourite? The big reveal (ie, we realize the sinister plot and how to foil it) assumes so many facts not in evidence that it's frankly astonisihing anyone thought it worked. And who the hell tells someone they've recorded them revealing their wicked plans without major backup?

Frankly, I'm embarressed for whoever directed this monstrosity, horrified that the script got written in the first place, and seriously considering blocking from my memory the whole thing. This coming from the girl who watched the two Xena episodes with Karl Urban in them yesterday (despite never having watched any Xena before) simply because Karl Urban was in them.

In short: don't go see The Green Hornet. Go to the dentist or something instead.
  • Current Mood: nauseated
  • Current Music: Jack's Mannequin, "The Mixed Tape"
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