ST_Beehive

Stress

It's the strangest thing. I really like working at the same company as my mom - her cubicle is 3 down from mine, I get to see her most every day, and on days our schedules line up she sometimes buys me lunch.


But then there's the fact that mom can overhear what other people at my (our) work are saying from her cubicle, so when there's a mixup after I leave and all that, mom can frantically text me and make me stress out about it. Never mind that it's nothing to worry about (I texted my department head and she said it's all right, just some wires had been crossed in communication or something), I'm no so stressed out it's riddiculous. Like, even more stressed out than I was before I heard from my department head that it's nothing to worry about.

Its riddiculous. It's utterly stupidly riddiculous. But there it is. So now I'm sitting here, too stressed out to even de-stress with TV, and part of me thinks alcohol is the solution and another part says how great it would be just to go to sleep and never wake up again. And it's all riddiculous because those are just two insane reactions to have, and... IDK. I'm just tired now. And I can't concentrate on anything. And have a headache. And just am going crazy in general.

It'll pass. And probably by tomorrow I'll have nearly forgotten all about it, but its moments like this that remind me now matter how great I feel now, I'm still not cured I'll probably have to spend the rest of my life managing my depression in the hopes that it doesn't end up managing me. It's just so easy to pretend some days.

Though I'd like to point out that I had a pretty good day up until then. I upgraded 3 stores, started the upgrades on 2 more before I had to stop due to hardware errors that had to be sorted out first (the cause of the confusion above, who didn't realize that there was, in fact, an error and I hadn't just walked out in the middle), and preupgraded another. In short, I touched about 15 computers before 11am and stopped counting. And at one point I was on like 4 at once. But I got through them all and fixed all the issues that cropped up until the scanners stopped scanning (the company I work for makes software for grocery stores and the like, although once I upgraded the gift shop of a male burlesque in a casino in Las Vegas). In short, it was a good day. I even got to leave an hour early because I ended up working through lunch.

And then mom texted. And I know she means well, but she worrie and it makes me worry and it's just a self-perpetuating cycle.

Le sigh. Anyway, other than that things have been going well, save for my still absent muse. Updated the Star Trek rankings, went to IKEA again (and only spent $18 dollars, as Mom and I told ourselves we could only go if we spent no more than $25), and just have been okay in general. I'm going to go glare at something now untill this headache has passed, or something.

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"HUGS"

Tranquilizers will help you de-stress hon. My neighbor was always stressed and when he took his pill, he was all mellow.
True... but I don't have any of those on hand and it's been impossible to get a Dr's appointment as it is to have my stuff renewed. sigh.
Yeah, ever since Obama care started, I'm finding it hard to get appointments myself for anything. It's always a month or better. God forbid you have to cancel and reschedule because it will be a month or more later when you get it.
It's not that. It's just that I live in a relatively small town so the dr only comes to her office here once a week. And I've been working 8-5 lately so I e not been able to get a hold of her - and her VM is a black hole.
I'm sorry your depression is running you down :( I wish there was something I could do. I'm sure your job stress isn't helping things. Could you talk to your mom about what happened? Tell her that you know she means well, but you just made you worry needlessly?
Oh, we've had that conversation many times. She just worries and tries to help, and then it makes me worry. Sometimes she's right to worry, sometimes she's not.

Oh well. I'll deal with it today. It was just a serious of crossed wires or something.
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