Life is fraking strange sometimes.

I mean, at some point you think you've figured it out - that you've got your house in order, your future more or less figured out - and then life throws you a curveball. And then you realize that adulthood is a lie - you don't actually grow up, you just make different mistakes.

I don't really know how to elaborate without going into details, which I'm hesitant to do even here, but I can't stop wondering what the fallout from this one will be - if I'm making a bigger deal of it in my head than it really is, or if I'm not thinking big enough. I just want to know already, but the fall semester doesn't start until next week and I'm not likely to get a answer until then.

The worst part - the absolute worst part - is that it could turn out to be a good thing, and that I'll spend this week worrying for nothing. No, even worse than that is that it could have been a good thing, but my worrying stopped that from happening.

Frak. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Life is supposed to prepare you for these things, but it doesn't. As soon as you master one level, the universe throws you another, and you never get to level up, or the difficulty is so high that it doesn't matter, and you're stuck in this awful first-person camera angle that gives you no perspective whatsoever. All I know is that I hate this state of not knowing - this Schrodinger's state of both good-and-bad.



Just... frak.
I just want it over and done with already - I want to know how the chips will fall and move on, but I'm too, well, me, to actually do anything about it.
Completely understandable. Maybe it'll help if you tell yourself that your worrying will not change things, so what's the point in worrying?
I am a professional worrier, bb. I am in this position because of the excess of worry that woke me up and...

You're probably right bb, but I can't help it. I'll do anything else and I'll be fine and then it will just hit me, the worry, and I've like no experience on what to do here and it's like where it's the guide I was supposed to have gotten? Did I miss the orientation for this? What the frak am I supposed to do?
Boy does life throws curveballs and at you all the time. I try not to get complacent with it because I can bet you that as soon as everything seems settled the life will chuck something else at you.

The best thing is to learn to jump or swerve at those hurdles they may not necessarily be big things but life is a big learning experience. To quote from Batman “Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.” And picking ourselves up and moving on to the next hurdle is what life is about. You learn to swerve and dodge these incidents and if you can’t avoid them at least learn how to handle them and how to control the worry inside.

I know what it’s like I am a worrier too that’s why I know you have to stop it and look towards the brighter side and learn how to handle it all.

You madam, worry too much! STOP IT!

All you can do is work through it, if you won't have an answer until next week there is nothing you can do until then.

If you need to talk you know where I am.

Edited at 2014-08-20 12:06 pm (UTC)
Eh. I know I worry too much. I actually have gotten better at it, but sometimes things are just complicated. I'll email you the details later when I'm not confined to a tiny keyboard, but let's just say life is weird.