some vaguely les mis rambles

I think I'm getting more and more paranoid in my old age.

Seriously, I've been going to the library a lot to study lately because I'm on campus all day and have large gaps in my schedule and I can't work all the time, but it's gotten the point where I can't feel comfortable unless I'm at a desk that has my back to the wall. IDK if its because I don't want people sneaking up on me or I don't want them seeing what I'm working on, but It's not just true of studying. It's any time I have my laptop out. It's gotten to the point where I'm sitting in the hallway of the sciences building, back to the wall, rather than at a proper desk in the library because it freaks me out so much. (Well, that nd I wanted to talk to a professor who wasn't there, but...)

In other news, I'm ridiculously disgusted by the girls I see at school who look perfect all the time. I'm not saying you have to look nice all the time, but you shouldn't look perfectly made up even when you're in sweatpants and whatnot. Maybe I'm just jealous, but it would be nice for some of them to look, well, human, instead of the stereotypical blonde coed living off her parents and driving a car that cost more than my last 2 years worth of paychecks combined that she doesn't appreciate or require.

I think part of this is brought about by Les Mis. I have rather left-leaning tendencies at the best of times, but reading about perfect, cosseted Cosette, who Marius loves for no real reason I can actually see unless its that she eventually became pretty, who seems to be nothing but an agent for men to do things to - whether to be loved by ValJean and an excuse for him to do good deeds or be loved by Marius as an object of perfection atop an ivory tower - and I get really, really frustrated with people.

I'm about 250 pages from the end, and deeply saddened by the tiny amount of the Barricade Boys so far, but woe is I. They are my favorites, though the book has given me some greater compassion for ValJean and Fontaine. But what can I say. We are attracted to the things we lack, and the Barricade Boys believe in something - a better world. Which I, sadly, gave up on long ago.
I've always wanted to sit with my back to the wall. I can sit so my back *isn't* to anything, but I feel uncomfortable the entire time, and sort of hyperaware of what's going on around me. But yeah, I sympathize with that - I prefer to sit with my back to the wall or in a corner or something.
I think most people have lost the concept of privacy. Probably why you have to put your back to a wall when you're on your lap top. You are not paranoid, just sane in an increasingly insanely society that thinks it's normal to skype while evacuating their bowels.
In other news, how sad is it that most of those blonds aren't even blonds. Using Daddy's and Mommy's money to fashion themselves as something they are not. Probably a theme that will play out their whole lives. A solid 50% of them are husband hunting. Call me a liar but their parents came of age in the Reagan years. sorry, maybe I'm starting to rant. Stay disgusted, stay sane.

No, I understand completely. And I get disgusted by it. I'm the only female in my year in the department (there are all of 3 of us total) and it sucks, and I keep ranting about how I'm going to pull random females off the street and turn them into CS majors because it's awful.
I believe you are a writer. Through thick and thin you continue to write. What ever career you choose you will always be a writer. The definition of a writer is someone who doesn't choose to write but has to write. Tell me I'm wrong.
Very true. I love my major, but I've been writing forever, and will continue to write. Because I have to get my ideas out there.