no good news

Today was a bad day.

The worst I've had in a while, actually. Not so much in and of itself, though parts of it certainly sucked, but I just felt so sad and hopeless and pointless for most of it, I wanted to cry. I actually spent the drive home from work absolutely sobbing for no apparent reason.

I mean, physics was great - we're on thermodynamics, and were reserving the static state equation for gas today, - you know, PV=nRT that you see all the time in chemistry - and there was liquid nitrogen and all sorts of cool stuff. I'd a test in Calc, which I totally panicked on because, though I thought I knew it, I guess I didn't because I can't for the life of me tell you if I did them right. And then work was just boring and my boss told me off right at the beginning for something I did wrong two weeks ago and didn't even know I did wrong because I looked up and down for that stuff to count and had no idea there was more hiding anywhere.

And anyway, it was awful, and Christmas has thrown up already at work and I just feel so bad and tired and just want a hug and someone to tell me it'll be okay even though I know it probably won't and it's just been a sucky day and I want it to be over already.

I'm worried that this is only the start of a downward spiral. That I'm going to get a lot worse before I get better. that there really is something wrong with me. But I can't say anything because mom will get upset and worry, which will make dad angry, and even if I were to go to the student health center mom would find out one way or another, because I have absolutely no privacy and i just want things to go well for once.
Is is possible for you to take advantage of the school health care system since you are enrolled? Talk to a counselor? See about getting some help? *hugs*
My Dear

You should not go through this alone. You must get some help and support.
hopefully it's just that. I have been feeling better the last couple of days, so we'll see how it goes.

I have never commented before. I do go onto your site and I read your stories, which I love, but you sound so sad and down. Is there something like the Samaritans over there. Maybe if there were you could call just to talk. No one would judge, just listen and that may help. It's just a thought and I don't know if you have anything like that there, but sometimes the anonymity helps.
I may try that, bb, thank you, but often times I find that comments like these help more than words can say. Just knowing people care helps so much.

thanks for saying hi/stopping by.