IDK what this is.

You don't want to know how cold it was this morning.

(The temp was literally 49F in my room when I came in after class today - at noon.)

But whatever. All I know is its been a very weird day, because I'm tired and school went well and I got my homework for tomorrow done and I feel okay about my Calc test tomorrow, but right now I'm just so tired all I want to do is sleep or cry or lay in the dark and try my hand at both. And I don't know why.

I mean, it was a good day. Long, but good. I'm not stressed out about anything really, Beyond the cold, its not been so bad. The book I'm reading - Contact by Carl Sagan - is actually pretty interesting, and not dull or depressing like my last couple of choices. But I just want to cry or sleep or something.

I'm beginning to wonder if I really shouldn't go to the student health centre and see if they can't make sense of it. Because, looking over some of my posts and all that, it really does seem like there has to be something wrong with me if I keep cycling in and out of depressive states on a fairly regular basis. But I don't want to do that because things have been going so well that I don't want to jinx things. Because, whatever you or I may know, there are people who think having mental issues makes you weak.

Case in point: my beloved father, who- Well, let's not go into details, but let's just say he was not all that thrilled by the mental health history that got me booted out of the navy, along side the migraines.

But just because the Navy thought I had depressive tendencies doesn't mean I actually have them. They didn't diagnose anything, just looked at my medical record, read a few comments my previous doctors wrote, and bada-bing bada-boom, that was that. On top of everything else.

But I'm getting so tired of feeling just completely tired when I have done absolutely nothing.

I dunno, guys. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm just fine and just tired from all the school stuff going on. Maybe. I just worry.

*hugs tightly* Maybe you should go to the student health center, if just to settle your mind on what's going on.
Hmmm, that's a good point. I suppose it's up to you, bb. But I'm here no matter what~
the temp? well, technically 27F IS english, but it's like -3C. 47F is about 8C. Or, you know 270 & 281K.

Edited at 2013-11-13 11:51 pm (UTC)
I should have said European!

It had warmed to about 3 degrees Celcius when l went to work at 7am there was still frost on the ground from the overnight freezing temps

A couple of years ago at this time we had heavy snow

Weird weather for us this year

Edited at 2013-11-13 11:54 pm (UTC)

It's supposed to be a hard winter here this year. But all I know my wind child walking to school was something like 0F (-18C) today, which made my couple of shirts, sweeter, jacket, gloves, and pom-pomed hat feel like almost nothing. And only a slight trace of yesterday's snow in the heavy shadows.
Hm, you know, not getting the information about what might be wrong with your health doesn't make it go away. Knowing/not knowing the details doesn't objectively change your actual condition, but of course you know that already. After all, I'm talking to someone who just posted an entry about the nature of wormholes (I'm still trying to wrap my brain around that one). ;-)

But I can see how you would possibly fear that a certain knowledge wouldn't change your condition but rather your situation, so to speak. If you know something, you can't go back to just living as if you don't know about it.

Well, what about just checking the "measureable facts" of your health for starters? I mean things like: is your thyroid okay, your ferritin level, vitamin D supply etc. If there's something wrong with those things it can cause the symptoms from which you're suffering: exhaustion, depressive moods, issues that feel like mental issues but really are just the result of dysfunction or dysbalance of those things but can be treated relatively easy in this case.

Three years ago I was simply convinced that I was just getting older because of the slow drop of energy, lack of enthusiasm for tackling my day, darker moods, being tired the whole day, aches in my joints (knees and shoulders) and a whole lot more of - well, not exactly symptoms of illness but of feeling not really healthy and strong anymore. I didn't know what was up with me, just though that nobody gets younger and carried on.

It was pure coincidence that my old physician retired and the new one wanted to do a check up on all the patients who visited to bring his knowledge of them up to date. Turned out I had a thyroid dysfunction, lack of vitamin D supply and a way too low ferritin level. Treatment was easy and worked wonders.

Would be a shame if the source of you not feeling really well would be something that could be so easily fixed and you don't even know it. :-)
yeah... I know I should. But these things rarely go well for me. I tend to prepare for the worst, because that's what I usually get.
Well at least with me, when something like that happens (and it does, often), contributing factors can be things like hormones, weather, relief following a long term stress, etc.

This time of year, I know to blame the weather. The days getting shorter and darker have always affected me. I also know, that suddenly having a lot less structure and stress in my life, because I'm now out of work, leads to conscious and subconscious worry about my future. So I have those same feelings, like I could sleep for days, that there's this strange emptiness inside that makes me want to cry, and I can't think of a damn reason why.

I have my history, and the characteristics of my nature, that leave me predisposed to depression. But I don't consider myself mentally ill, just a variedly troubled individual who at the moment needs some therapy to cope :) Perhaps that is the case with you too. You don't necessarily need medication, just maybe the right kind of environment to talk about things that worry you (and that obviously is not at home for you)

It might be a good idea to give the health center a try, if for nothing else then to see what options they have. For me, just talking about things, and getting positive feedback and encouragement, has helped enormously, as has the realisation that the feelings will pass, they are not bad or to be feared, and that understanding where they might come from makes them easier to handle.

Hope this helped any *hugs* Glad to hear you had a good day ^_^