Win a Drabble

My grandmother (the one of the St. Louis trip last year) is coming to visit tomorrow and will be staying for a week. She will  arrive while I am at work/school and I will not see her until c. 7:30 tomorrow evening.

To the person who most accurately guesses any or all of the following, I grant one drabble/fic request for any fandom I am a part of, within the realms of my abilities (which means, sadly, no porn folks):

  1. How long it takes her bring up the fact that I'm not married/engaged/in a serious relationship/in any relationship at all/haven't been in one for years now/have a general lack of interest in other people.

  2. How long it takes her to bring up my unsuccessful naval career and/or how long/often she choses to harp over the fact, including but not limited to handwringing, nagging, and worrying.

  3. How long it takes her to pass judgement over my current school/work/living situation, and just how negative this might be.

May the odds be ever in your favor.
Let's see, you're going to see her at 7:30 tomorrow evening? I say 35 minutes from the moment she says the first word to you. :/
Your vote is noted. Please keep your proof of purchase, as you will need to present it to your cashier in event of winning.
15 minutes, huh? There's a definite possibility of that, I'll admit. We shall see.

(Frankly, I'm a little concerned that no one seems to think we'll even make it an hour. True, but worrying).