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More Ranting

Why is this my life?


So today's my first day off in ages, and what does dad do but insist on laying carpet in my room? And, I mean, okay, I like carpet, that's nice, but somehow it becomes this big ordeal that I'm supposed to be 'grateful' to him for doing for me. To say nothing of what happens when he manages to tear down one of the posters I spent good money on to get shipped here - which turns into a shouting match, which turns into accusations of what an ungrateful child I am for even being allowed to live here, rather than out on the street where I belong, and how I'm a failure because the navy wouldn't keep me, and it ended up with me storming out of the house so I wouldn't have to hear it/ give everyone a chance to calm down, and I come back 5 hours later to the thing still not finished, just half laid with all my stuff in any old place on the floor, and the stupid rowing machine being right in front of the door so I can barely open it, and the carpet being awful and dirty and not even covering the whole floor, and I seriously think my dad is trying to drive me to move out or kill myself, just so he doesn't have to deal with me anymore. Because when he was my age, he was supporting a family and all that nonsense, and he's "given me all the tools for success" but I seem to "want" to mooch off them for my whole life.

Nevermind he keeps charging me for things I did not want/ask for/need/that he said he'd pay for.

I know I shouldn't be surprised anymore, or even bother getting angry, but every time I think we've reached an understanding he goes and does something like this. And I HATE him. I just do. I hate him and I never want to speak to him again but I've no choice because it really is here or my car and I don't know why he doesn't take any responsibility for anything that's happened or his role in any of it and it's not like I ASKED to be kicked out or fail at everything I've ever tried and I just hate him and it's awful because I shouldn't hate my father but there it is.

In other news, it rained on me again while my windows were cracked in my car, meaning I got to sit on wet seats again as I drove home. I also ordered the MacBook Pro I so desperately need to replace my old laptop with, to pick up on over the Tax Free weekend, and now really hope I get my student loan payment soon or else things will be fuuuun come my next credit card statement, but it needed to be done.

I'm beginning to think I'm stuck in a sitcom and don't know it. Or a really angsty book. I'm kinda scared how it's all supposed to end.
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  • 9 comments
You should just move out. Find an apartment with a renter who's looking for a roommate and go live there instead.
I should, but I really don't know anyone in this town and moving in with a complete stranger isn't going to go over well, I'm sure.

Plus, I really can't afford it. Not after dropping all the money to make this room habitable, and scool.
Well, people move in with complete strangers all the time. Sure it comes with some risk, but really, what doesn't?

Can you live on campus? Is there a relative near by?

I'm sure I'm asking all the things you've already investigated, but this doesn't sound like the situation is going to get better, and it sucks so much to have to live like that.

Sometimes, maybe doing something like living with a stranger for a while, and starting to save enough money for your own place, even if it's a crappy little place, is better than just being still.
Yeah, but the last time I had a roommate, she thought I'd OD'ed on my migraine medicine and tried to commit suicide, rather than having a perfectly legitimate negative reaction to the meds themselves, causing all the problems that got me kicked out of the navy in the first place, so I'm understandably hesitant.

On campus living is reserved for freshman, my nearest relative is 10 hours away.

But that's the thing though, I really can't afford to move out. My hours are getting cut now that the tourist season is over, so I'll barely be able food and gas until things pick up again. I've thought through it all, but this is really the best of the worst situation.
Well, then I guess all you can do is deal with it as best you can, as you have been. I hope your father eases up some, and I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
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