SEPS (Day 18)

It's the weekend here, which means logorithmically more bordom.

We've spend most of the day eating and watching The Hobbit, which is a movie i didn't care for in the first place. In fact, none of the average of 3 movies a day here we watch I've really liked - though Jurrassic Park was tolerable and the day we got to watch Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith was amazing. I miss my syfy. I miss SPN. I'm so marathoning that the moment I get home. Rumour has it that people with my seperation code almost always get busses home and mom checked the greyhound website: from here to home by bus is 26 hours. You read that right.

I hate my life sometimes.

I've also been having terrible writers block with the 5th story I've started since getting ere. It covers pt 1 of "The Return", or part of it at least, and it's been proving a lot more difficult than anticipated. I wish I could talk to some of you guys about it, or at least get motivational words about the stories that came before it to help inspire me, but prettty much all I've done is stare at walls for the last 24 hours (which includes most of my time on watch from midnight to 2am this morning) i've been awake.

Anyway, I'm bored out of my mind and some of the girls here about ready to drive me over the edge. The attiudes and the entitlement issues here are worse than high school - and this comes from someone who went to a allgirls boarding high school. It's awful. IDK if I actually had depresson before, but I'm definately coming out of here with it. It's maddening. I've been seriously down all week and find myself wanting to cry for no reason a lot of the time. I can't even bring myself to work up the engergy to finish he last book I have from monday's shipment. I'm scared of whats going to happen if I don't get out of here by next week. I really am.

::crosses fingers::
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I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now--believe me, a lot of this is boredom and the feeling of being caged with people you don't like. Of course you can't be creative in that environment. :-(

I do believe, however, there will come a time when you look back on this experience and actually be glad that this door shut the way it did--because for some reason, you were meant to do something else.

Hang in there.
i hope so bb. i really do. i keep telling myself it's for the best, but it's getting harder to believe with every passing day
Well, that's to be expected--you've had the stuffings knocked out of your life's plans. That's depressing and scary and upsetting all at the same time. Then too, is the feeling that you've disappointed your dad when this is totally NOT your fault, nor is it a battle you can win simply by fighting long enough. Hopefully one day you and your dad both will be able to see that this is how he reacts to being upset--it's a pity he couldn't see how you were hurting and be more supportive, but you didn't do this to hurt him on purpose and he will accept that with time.

The important thing is to hang in there until you can get out--and then you will see that the options you have before you are pretty good ones. *hugs*
Ah, Jesus Christ. A 26-hour bus ride sounds like hell. :(

I'm really sorry to hear about all this that's been going on; I've been reading, though I haven't commented to you and I'm sorry for that. I read you on the depression; been feeling a lot of that myself lately. My heart goes out to you; I know the Navy was a dream and a big deal for you, and it sucks to have that taken away by something out of your control.

And I'm sure sgamadison is right--if this is truly over for you then there must be something else out there for you, something better.

Now, since your birthday sucked, and I also missed it, I will wish you a happy coming home day!--free of stress and drama--and the best of luck going forward, bb. I'm here for you in whatever way I can be.

*fierce hugs*

Edited at 2013-03-24 03:31 am (UTC)

thanks bb. i know i'll be better when i'm finally out of here, but it's one thing to know that and another to live through it. every day. weekends are the wrost.

i hope you're right though. and don't worry about the commenting - ive barely the time to reply anyway/
I feel like every comment I leave boils down to just *HUG* But there's not much I can do. I'm sorry you've suffered a block creatively, I'm sorry you're stuck with people you don't like :( I wish I had some suggestion of things you can do, but I can't think of anything feasible.

You'll get through this, and then there will be SPN to catch up on and rewatches of your favorite shows, so that's something, right? Just hang in there? *is no help at all*

I miss you ♥
just knowing people care is a big help. here is just a lot of bordom and anonimity and numbness. there are a few girls here I get along with, and we'd a group near-mental breakdown last night, so that helped a lot. still feeling down now, but... it's something.

and i think i've gotten over the writer's block a little. or some. i've gotten a lot of drabbles, at least. mostly, though, i just wish i was home and things were back to normal.

Yay for getting over writer's block! Even if it's just a little - that's still progress. I wish you were home too.
*crosses fingers too* Hang in just a little longer *hugs*

And don't worry too much if you feel like crying, I'd say it's perfectly normal considering the ordeal you've gone through. All sadness is not, fortunately, depression.

26 hours on the bus... o_O well at least it'll be a change of surroundings. (I'm hopefully taking a trip to the States later this year, already dreading the 20 or so hours I'll have to spend inside planes...)
the bus isn't certain yet, nor is the date I leave, but it is a terryfing idea. i just want to leave, though, so i'm not too picky.

it's been hard NOT to cry lately. everything just makes me down. this place is terrible. it's good to know that there are still people who care on the outside