Warnings/Spoliers: Post-S5, set pretty much present day
Disclaimer: Title 17 of the US Code, § 107, aka the Fair Use Doctrine.
Summary: How to win a Nobel Prize in 8 easy steps
Notes: I did not intend to post two drabbles in a row, but in all fairness the other had been sitting on my hard drive for weeks and this, well, it just came to me when I saw this on fb. (See Below)
A Stargate: Atlantis drabble
"We both know it's inevitable."
"No. On principle alone, Rodney, no."
Rodney shoves the tablet under John's nose again, in part to make him reconsider the data, but mostly to keep him from seeing the hurt on his face. Regrouping quickly, he continues, "You can''t argue with the data, John. I've got the whole North American male born in Spring thing down. I went to an Ivy League school, don't wear glasses, and shave regularly. There's not much I can do age-wise – the average is sixty-one, but that's really not that far off-"
"It's twenty years off, Rodney," John says, throwing his hands up into the air and stalking over to the couch opposite.
"Seventeen, actually, but it's never too early to start preparing for the future. And, as the data clearly indicates, only fifteen point three percent of all Nobel Prize winners are single when they win their prize – and most of those are hippie-dippy Peace Prize winners who, I dunno, have taken vows of celibacy or something. If you look just at the Physics Prize winners, only six percent aren't-"
"Rodney," he says, slouched low on the couch but talking through gritted teeth, "I am not marrying you just to increase the odds that you'll win a Nobel Prize."
"No. If you wanna ask me to marry you, you gotta do it the right way."
Rodney is speechless for precisely twelve seconds. Then, still gaping, "If I want to ask you? I've been waiting for you to ask me ever since they repealed that stupid Don't Ask, Don't Tell law of yours."
"You've been waiting on me-? Y'know what? Nevermind." John stands up quickly, grabs Rodney's arm, and pulls him out of their quarters.
"Where are we going?"
"To see Woolsey. We're going to have to gate back to Earth if we wanna do this – the SGC has a blanket policy about not recognizing off-world weddings."
"See!" Rodney exclaims, pulling free of John's hold and scurrying to catch up with him, "See! This is exactly what I-"
John shoots him an are you seriously arguing with me about this? look.
Rodney shuts up. Though not before muttering that he could have at least pretended to wait for the answer.