I'm feeling oddly nostalgic today. 

Maybe it's just because it's September, and I've not quite gotten used to the idea of it being September and not starting up a new school year. Maybe it's because the band I bought my first CD from - just under 16 years ago - just put out a new album, and I haven't bought a phsycial CD in over two years. Maybe it's because tomorrow's the 11 year aniversary of 9/11 and all the terrible things that happened that day and as a result thereof - or maybe because tomorrow's also the 4 year aniversary of my first tattoo, which is an interesting story in and of itself. Or because I got back from my parents' late friday and I always feel nostalgic after that.

I dunno. Not really. But I'm getting that feeling people usually much older than me must get when they talk about the "good old days." Not that I really dislike the direction my life is going now (though I'd really, really like it to be 12 Febuary already), but I can't help but wonder what if...?

What if I'd actually liked the first college I went to? or gotten to go to the one I'd wanted to rather than the one Dad made me go to? or stuck it out for a second year? or the Recession never happened and I never got laid off from my first job? or - of course, the big one - what if my sister had never gotten sick? and all the related what ifs relating to that. 

I know it's pointless to think about. I'd probably be a much different person if none of these things had happened, but I've noticed that all of the fics I've written are AUs, so I've three-quarters of a million words backing up my tendency to think about alternative histories in great detail. It's not even that I nessicarly even want any of these alternative histories to have happened. It's just... I wonder. 

Oh well. I got 1.3k of the next installment of "Messias" written last night, and half of a really good book read today, so at least I'm managed to accomplish something today.

  • Current Mood: nostalgic
  • Current Music: Matchbox 20 "Long Day"
I get caught up in "what ifs" sometimes too. But then I end up getting depressed.

Yay for getting some writing done, as well as half a book read :)
and lj is not sending me notices again...

I finished the book though - I got a call like 45 min after I posted this that they wanted to show the house 90 minutes after that, which lead to a furious cleaning spree and then me sitting in the elementary school playground reading while the people were here. It was a good book though - it was called War and is the best book on the Afghan War, if not war in general, I've ever read. I'd add it to my list of 125 books if I'd not finished that finally.

le sigh. I'm trying to get back in the writing mode now though. evil people interupting my writing flow.
War, huh? I'll have to check that out. It sucks you had to vacate the premises and hang out at a playground though.

Good luck getting into writing mode! I wish I had more advice to give than "good luck" - try to get the creative juices flowing by writing drabbles?
I'm terrible with drabbles - at least, the traditional 100 word ones. everything I write turns into some grand bioepic by no intention of my own.

le sigh

I'm slowly getting back into writing-mode, but haven't been feeling so hot today. and the moment I started getting back into it, I got an email from dad asking about his math homework. Which is sad, as he's in "Introduction to Introduction to Math."

but War was an amazing book.
I'm terrible with drabbles too. I'm very wordy and what I mean to be a short thing ends up a couple thousand words.

:( I'm so sorry you're not feeling well. loool I can't say much about your dad and his homework, because I am *terrible* with math too.
oh, dad's absolutely horrendous. Mom tried to explain it to him, and then they had to email me in desperation because she couldn't dumb it down enough. ::facepalm::

le sigh. you know what I really want? the inspiration that struck me sunday night to strike me again, 'cause I got a *lot* done that night before I got too tired to write coherantly
*nod* That pretty much sounds like how it'd be for me.

That inspiration hitting you again would be nice!
Some inspiration - or rather, the drive to write - would be nice right about now, for me.