Pairing/Charecter(s): Ancient!John, Rodney Madison; John/Rodney
Warnings/Spoliers: this takes place between parts 5 &6 of "Advena" in the Ancient!John 'verse; swearing
Disclaimer: Title 17 of the US Code, § 107, aka the Fair Use Doctrine.
Summary: John's introduction to "Earth food"
Notes: In my defense, I have been trying to work on "Legati," and this one's been lurking on my harddrive for a while. At first it was supposed to be a love song to fries, which I've not had in ages, and then some sort of intro to homophobia for John, and then sort of ended up as neither. I'm not even certain what the point of this is anymore, except that it exists. So... yeah.
An Ancient!John Drabble
"History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind."
"Y'know what I like best about Terran food?"
"No. What?" Rodney asks, turning away from the ball pit to look at John, who is sitting atop the metal-mesh picnic table, examining a French fry with more intent than anyone outside of a quality assurance lab probably has ever looked at a fry.
Eating the fry, "It's complete lack of nutritional value."
Rodney snorts, tearing his eyes away from the sight of John licking the salt off his fingers to look for where Madison's managed to disappear to in the thirty seconds he'd been otherwise occupied.
This entire outing – which is to say, he and John taking charge of his niece for the day while Jeannie and her English major husband took advantage of their free babysitting abilities to spend as much time off by themselves as they could reasonably manage – might've been his sister's idea, but he's no plans of loosing his sister's kid at a fast food joint. He's never going to hear the end of it as it is for letting Madison have a hamburger but, hey, she'd asked for one, and who is he to deny the kid the protein she so desperately needs if she's going to ever live up to the potential of her McKay genes?
But still. They'd spent the better part of the day at Vancouver's optimistically named science centre, and while the science was dumbed down that even the average (American) fifth grader could be made to understand it, it had been, more or less, fun. More when John had let him correct the science, less when Madison had finally started acting her age.
And now here they are, sitting outside a a McDonald's just off English Bay, eating forbidden meat-products and watching his niece play in the germ-infested plastic death box that they called a ball pit.
"Don't get me wrong, I like the food back home, but it's a nice change of pace, junk food. My people would never have allowed it."
"Your folks were health nuts?" That would definitely fit with what they'd known about the Ancients before they'd met John, as well as Doctor Jackson's complete and utter surprise that John wasn't a vegetarian that last night in Colorado Springs, when they'd all gone out to dinner.
"Not really," John shrugs. "It was sort of a most return for least input sort of thing. I'm just glad they decided to use a little bit more energy and go with beans and rice and that sort of thing instead of the absolute basic algae paste. Though," he shudders, taking a sip of his drink, "this soda stuff I think I could learn to live without."
"We call it pop in Canada."
"Well, whatever you call it, I'm surprised anyone on this planet has any teeth left after drinking it."
Rodney snorts once more.
"So, where to next?"
"I dunno. What do normal people do with kids?" He glances at John just long enough to catch his thoroughly bewildered expression. "Right, wrong person to ask."
"We can try asking somebody."
"Why not? We do it all the time on missions."
-but before he can get much further, John's already gotten the attention of a one of the people sitting at the next table over. "Excuse me," he's saying in his best meet the locals voice, "we're not from around here and I was wondering-"
"Fuck off," the man John's interrupted snaps.
"Nice talking to you too," he says before turning back around. Then, quietly, just so Rodney can hear, John adds, "I see what you mean. Real friendly planet you've got here, Rodney."