TMI_kiss-closeup

Dating

I would like to rant for a moment about the frankly bourgeois assumption that simply because I am not involved with anyone at the moment I am looking to be involved with someone in the near future.


Because, frankly, as amusing as it was at first to watch one of my coworkers try to set me up with people, it has quickly passed into the realm of leave it the fuck alone already. Because, frankly, I have almost zero interest in dating. Anyone. Male or female. I'm not opposed to the idea, I just... have very little interest in it. Though I hesitate to label myself, I wouldn't be surprised if one day I do choose to call myself asexual, if panromantic.

But it's not like I can tell my coworker any of this. She has trouble even with homosexuality, and trying to explain that, yes, I feel perfectly content as I am without feeling the need to seek out a partner of any kind proved ultimately fruitless. She is of the opinion that no one can be happy unless they are in a relationship, and that the ultimate goal in life is to be in one.

Personally, I feel more attached to many of you, whom I've only spoken with online, than I have with anyone in RL, for any reason. But again, try to explain to her that online relationships are just as fulfilling (if not more so, to me) than RL ones.

I dunno. She may have a point about the loneliness, but I'm pretty sure my depression won't magically go away if I get a boyfriend/girlfriend. All I do know is, its gotten to the point of irritation, and I really hope she drops it soon.
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I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I like the idea of having someone - I don't want to spend my life alone - but I'm content where I am. My brother is the type who is never happy unless he's in a relationship; when he was between girlfriends, he would whine about how ~lonely he was and how he really needs a girlfriend. I am not like that.
I know exactly what you mean. I'm not against relationships, but I don't need one and probably wouldn't seek one out. Not to cross any lines or anything, but talking with you all the time provides me with all the outside-of-family emotional fulfillment I really need.

But yeah, it was tedious. And got annoying after a while. She's moved on from trying to set me up with her stepbrother and is now trying for another of our coworkers. And who knows who might be after that. Le sigh.
Dating certainly is no cure for depression, in fact, I think it might even make things worse if your potential partner doesn't know how to deal with it.

And only you know what's best for you at the moment. I hope the person stops pestering you soon -_-
unfortunately, she seems to get more adamant as time goes on. hopefully i can convince her to stop soon
I would suggest you just tell her you are not ready or interested to having a relationship and to quite frankly butt out.

When you are ready you will know you will want to have a partner. No point in forcing the issue if you are not ready or want a relationship.

If she keeps it up tell her its none of her business and that you do not force your opinion on her about her relationships.

yeah... it's hard to get through to her. I'll try again if she keeps it up, but sadly I don't think she really understands that people exist that don't believe/want the same things as she does. She's just out of HS and has a lot of growing up to do yet, if you know what I mean.
Ah yes not old enough for real life to have made and impact yet. Been cosseted and protected from the pitfalls of life.

Yep know the type

It will be a different story when/if her boyfriend breaks up with her
very much so. Though not so much cosseted as denied any real world experience - the mountains of North Carolina are a hard place to find much diversity, outside of the bubble that is the surprisingly liberal ASU campus.
Is she going to Uni?

That will be an eye opener if she does

Other than that she needs to get out into the real world to understand that life is seen through rose tinted specticals

Is she is one who has Daddy in the background who spoils her rotten and protects her from the real world
Just the local community college.

And, no. Her mom's a single mom. As far as I know, her dad was never in the picture, and she grew up surrounded by her mom's many boyfriends. It was far from the ideal environment, as far as I can tell, but there is very little besides deeply Southern, Christian heteronormality in this part of the country. A good lot of people are accepting of homosexuality, but not like you would see in bigger cities or up north. I'm fairly certain the word bisexual isn't even in her dictionary, let alone anything more complicated than that.

In short: she is a decent person at heart, she's just, as I said, very young and never really travelled outside of the area nor been encouraged to consider other people's viewpoints. It's all very tiresome at times, but she means well. The best I can do is smile and nod, and if it gets too tiresome, I usually have the ability to wonder away to a different register to bag.
Its surprising then that she hasnt had more RL moments in her life. Then again lm judging from a different perspective of a different ciuntry and from a city

In a few years she will have grown a bit.

I also suppose than the way mum brought me up despite my father being prejudiced against certain races lm very open minded and generally consider myself unprejudiced but maybe there might be the odd instance in there that l am unaware of when it happens but when it comes to sexuality l do not see people as different as you know.

I try not to be prejuiced.

Growing up we didnt have a lot of money but we had love and family and a view of the world passed down through my mums side to accept people for themselves and not their appearence or beliefs. We learned to look past the immediate appearence to the person inside. My aunt Lynda was born with a purple birthmark across half her face when l look at her l dont see the mark l just see my aunt. That l think could be why l dont see race or colour when l see people. I also had numerous gay friends and collegues that l dont see that being a difference.
Exactly. I don't care what people do with their lives or what their background is, unless it hurts somebody - or themselves. Unfortunately, not everyone is so openminded, and even if they are not actively bigoted they can be casually so without even realizing it.
Yes very unfortunate

But you know who your friends are especially through thick and thin moments of your life and if they accept you for who you are. Real friends are those who become your chosen family.
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