TMI_kiss-closeup

One big ball of fraks

I would like to take a moment to say ​frak you dad.


I get that you've this idea that the world revolves around you and that your problems are more important than anyone else's, but they're not. Just because I'm living at home doesn't mean that I'm your free tutoring service for math I haven't seen in almost a decade. Especially when you know that I'm trying to work on an essay for a scholarship that will help pay for me to find a way to get out of your house at some point in the next few years. An essay that was going quite well before you showed up ranting and raving about how hard your math was and how you didn't understand it and carrying on like a child. To quote a phrase, Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.

So frak you. Frak you and your stupid, childish instance that mom and I drop everything for your shit, which was understandable when you were deployed but is just arrogant now. Frak you for treating me worse than shit. Frak your instance that the Navy would all work out well. Frak your belief that I brought this all upon myself, when it was you who told me to lie, to lie through my teeth, to lie like a dog. Frak you for thinking that my migraines are/were stupid and never taking them seriously - like I was just doing them for attention. Frak you for never listening to us, for holding my future at gunpoint and promising terror if I didn't stave myself, didn't work myself to the bone to get into the Navy. Frak you for only ever telling me that you were proud of me until the day I shipped out, and even then in such a way that I thought you were joking until you got all offended about it. Frak you for not taking my job seriously, or mom's job, or anything we're interested in unless it interests you as well. Frak you. Just frak you.

::steps off soapbox::
Tags: ,
  • 10 comments
Yes!Good for you, getting this off your chest. I think you've needed to say that for a while. My dad has started acting sort of like that in that he expects us to drop everything and come see his photos, no matter what we might be doing. But, yes, acting like the only time you matter is when he wants something from you if a totally dick move.
Aye, that it is. I swear, he irritates the hell out of me sometimes. You'd think he'd be in a better mood today because his job app for after he graduates came through today, but no. not at all.

frak.
I think some people just like to be unhappy. And then they have to make everyone else unhappy, too. Hopefully your dad will get a job and go back to being out of everyone's hair most of the day.

Still knocking on wood for you to get that scholarship!
::crosses fingers::

The job's three hours away, in Kentucky, so I have no idea how it will work, but...
Ooh, maybe you'll get lucky and he'll rent someplace there during the week and only come back to bother y'all on weekends or something.
I think you really needed to vent that in a big way. Remember that now, every time he pulls this crap. You might have to suck it up and take it as long as you are under his roof but you *don't* have to live by it or believe it. That's the first step toward not letting it get to you anymore--and the loss of his control over you.

Kudos to you.
I try. God, I try. But it's really hard when I **have** to help him or else we get into a bigger fight than before.
You go girl! \o/

Good luck with the essay! I know it's hard and tiring, with all you have to put up with, but I know you can do it. Just keep your focus, and keep thinking about that chance to move out. *hugs*
  • 10 comments