LotR_Eowyn

Writing

For those of you who have been on the journey from the beginning, you probably know I have a whole bunch of self-esteem issues about my writing.


I don't say this to beg for comments or anything, it's just a fact. I worry that it's awkward and cliche and too difficult to understand or, alternatively, that I spend too much time spelling out the obvious. This has always been the case and remains the main reason that I've never tried to go back and revise my book and try to get it published again (though I acknowledge my mom is right and that an attempted rape scene that ends with the heroine killing her attacker might not be the best way to hook someone into a YA Fantasy series. Though my best alternative, which includes kidnapping and a black magic ritual blood sacrifice, probably isn't that much better).

Anyway, I feel strangely about my writing. I post things that I'd otherwise delete if forced to look at for any longer, and some of the writing I hate most ends up being my favourites during rereads and, well, it's complicated.

But one of my coworkers - the guy I picked up from the airport back in July - gave me the first chapter of the book he's been working on for me to read. I've only gotten as far as the first page and, well, that first page is just so awkward and clunky that it makes me so not want to go on, and I'm trying to figure out how much of this is just stylistic differences (this is more Dickens-style, and my writing is, well, whatever it is) and how much of it is just, well, bad.

This gives me immense hope for my own work, immense fear for humanity, and the general desire to curl up with a good book instead. Hopefully, it's just a style difference and things will get better. It is, after all, the first page. But still.
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It's nice of you to look it over for him! At least it makes you feel better about your own writing?
I just went through something similar myself the other night, only it was because I read a debut novel (written in a 2 month period, in 15 minute increments, while the author chased her toddler around) and it was so utterly brilliant that it made me despair of ever writing anything again.

I spoke with a few friends about it, and came to the conclusion that we have to stop comparing ourselves to others. What matters most is whether you've done the best job possible with the story you have to tell at this point in time. I know, easier said than done.

This gives me immense hope for my own work, immense fear for humanity, and the general desire to curl up with a good book instead.

Ah, I know this feeling well. ;-)
(nod) That I understand. Though I fear I may never find it in me to finish reading my friend's work.
Well, I'm completely addicted to this alt universe SGA magnum opus fanfic you're writing and check to see if there's more pretty much every day, and I don't even know you, so I'd say it's an unbiased opinion when I say your writing is like delicious crack to this fan. I think you're great and on-track, just keep writing and you'll get there.

Also?

...an attempted rape scene that ends with the heroine killing her attacker would be FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. I've never seen that before and now I think it's something I've always wanted to read. It makes me wonder how it would change the emotional landscape for the victim of the attack if she should successfully defend herself, and even take the bastard out.
Well, apparently most publishing houses don't agree with you there, but I might revisit the universe later on. I've some other ideas I want to try first.

And thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoy this 'verse of mine and continue to read it after all this time. I can only hope it lives up to all your expectations and that you'll continue to read.
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