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High School

So, in general, I feel that I've always been fairly comfortable with who I am. This has been particularly true since SEPS, which I feel no human being can go threw without some combination of mental breakdown and comfort-with-who-one-is.


So understand me when I say that when I ran into someone from High School at work today, I was completely, utterly thrown.

To set the stage, I went to the oldest all-girls' school in the country. As in, older than the USA. As in, one of the early first ladies graduated from my high school, as did at least one current Congresswoman and at least three CEOs that I know of. As in, I was 7th in a class of 43, have a drawer full of rather useless but shiny awards, and was all but voted most-likely-to-spend-her-life-as-a-professional-student.

Then factor in the fact that she is now working at the courthouse in Boone and I am, well, cleaning up somebody's spilled Diet Coke when she sees me.

And I'm thrown. Because I really could care less what this girl thinks of me, except for the fact that seeing her reminds me of all the possibilities I had in High School and all the dreams I've had since that have fallen through. I don't hate her for her success, but seeing her makes me almost hate myself for all my failures.

Not that I was in that great of a mood before I ran into her anyway. I osculate between moods so badly sometimes I really do worry there's something wrong with me - a reason for all my disappointments. But still. It put me in a funk for hours, which only made work worse because it was oddly slow for a holiday weekend, and, well, all I really want to do is write right now, so I think I will.

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That sucks so much :( I'm sorry bb *HUG* Whenever I get a facebook friend request from an old HS friend, I always dread it, because they inevitable have a great job and/or are married and beginning a family. While I hate my job and have no family, lol.

Life sucks. Why can't we all just live on the internet?
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