Avengers_steve/tony

Sexuality

Sort of continuing on from yesterday's discussion of misogyny, today's post-a-day deals about sexuality.


Or, more specifically, orientation. Mostly because I went to have my eyes examined today and when I was set down with the optician to get new glasses the thought he's gay popped into my head for no real, definitive reason.

I mean, the guy was wearing a lavender dress shirt, with silver tie and tie clip. He'd a pair of trendy frames of his own. And there was something in his manner which was, well, slightly more flamboyant than your normal, everyday Southern machismo.

Now, this is in no way, shape or form evidence that this really nice, helpful optician is actually homosexual. This is just how he dressed and how he acted. And yet that is where my mind went. Now, I, of course, didn't treat him any differently because of this thought, (my own personal thoughts towards sexuality, gender identification, and pretty much everything else under the sun is: as long as you're not hurting yourself or others, I don't care what you do), but I can't help but wonder how many people even in this day and age have.

More so, however, I want to know why I thought this. After all, we we aren't born prejudiced, with stereotypes ready and waiting to be filled in our heads. That sort of stuff is taught. And at some point between when I was born and now, it was put into my head that a guy who dresses with style and shows excitement when helping people pick out slightly-out-of-the-box glasses might very well be gay. Which is ridiculous, because the only behavior that we can safely attribute to all homosexual men is attraction to other men. Fashion sense certainly isn't included on that list.

And yet, that's what I did for exactly that reason. Quietly, almost subconsciously, and with no real care to the outcome.

Which, I guess, leads to my point, if I really have one today. Which is, I don't want the next generation to end up like me. I want to the next generation to be able to look at someone and not try to box them into things like gay or lesbian or trans. I want them to look at a person and see a person not who they might be attracted to. I want the media to relfect this, giving us more well-rounded characters whose sexuality has nothing to do with their importance as a character (the only one I can think of right off the bat is Charlie from Supernatural, though a moment's reflection has allowed me to add Welcome to Night Vale's Cecil and Carlos to the list). I want the word gay to stop being an insult.

And I guess the first place to start is to stop accidentally-labelling people in my head.
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There is someone whom l work with always speculates on a new staff members sexuality and then calls me homophobic when l call her out on her prejudice no matter how often lve said that l am not. I dont label people if someone is gay l think so what as longbas they are a good person it does matter whom they love besides if l was homophobic l wouldnt read slash fiction although l have not told thst to the woman at work
:D Yeah, I imagine telling her that would not go over well.

But that's just it. It shouldn't matter. But it does. In fact, the only reason it should ever matter is if someone asks you to set them up with someone else. End of story.
I've done this as well. I wish I could live to see a world where sexuality isn't something we even think about.
May your wish come true, that would be wonderful.

And you're right, we label people consciously and subconsciously exactly because the society has taught us to do that. We take notice of things like sexuality, because the topic is something that gets so much attention. If it weren't such a big deal, there would be no need to pay attention to it.

On the other hand, labelling things is natural to us, it helps us to make sense of the world around us. So since I know you would never judge anyone based on whether their gay or not, there's no need to feel guilty about it.

I know I do it too sometimes. But I do all sorts of labelling all the time, simply because I have this need to build a mental picture of what kinds of people I'm currently in the company of, so I know how to adjust myself to fit in... (It's a bad habit that I'm trying to grow out of. If I think others should be free to be themselves, then why shouldn't I be too.)
I know. It's more the fact that I did it that surprises me. Or, well, not surprises, but kinda annoys me. It shouldn't matter. I shouldn't notice it. And yet I did.

Oh well. I guess the best thing I can do is watch for it and try not to do it.
I've done the same thing and I have no issues with people of any orientation, like you say, as long as people aren't doing any harm to anyone it doesn't matter what sex, race, orientation, etc, they are. On reflecting,I think I do the same with someone's race.

I was raised in the home counties of England, literally just over the border from North London (about half a mile) and when I was a child everyone around me was English and white. I can distinctly remember when an Italian family moved into the neighbourhood, not because there was anything wrong with them but simply because they were different and spoke in a different way, the daughter of the family who was my age was very quickly welcomed to our group of friends and from then on we thought nothing of her family's background.

In the invervening years I have travelled to many countries and lived and worked around people of very different races, orientations, etc, so it's an everyday occurrence and I have friends with very varied backgrounds and yet I realise I still do the same thing unconsciously when meeting people.

I share your hope that future generations will see through a person's colour, race, sex, orientation, etc, and simply see the true person underneath.
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